The Childless Mother

My phone rings often once, twice, sometimes three times a week of people who are beginning their adoption journey. I'm not sure why the Lord has continued to allow me the privilege of ministering to these families but Oh, I am so very thankful. Adoption is my passion and I love each and every family that God sends my way. I'm not sure if it's because I have been where they are or simply because it is a passion that God instilled in me early in my life. No one in my family has ever adopted before so I don't even know or understand where this desire for adoption comes from but I have to give full credit to the Lord. And I am thankful.

I have been reflecting this week on "the childless mothers" who are struggling with their own issues of adoption, infertility, and their longing desire to become a mother. I often reflect back on that particular own time in my life where I longed to have a child of my own. I even remember sitting in a service one Sunday near Christmas when the pastor was going over some Christmas ideas/traditions that you could begin with your family and I just remember sitting there crying because we didn't have any kids of our own. I know what it feels like to want something so bad but there is nothing humanly possible that you can do to make that dream come true. I remember when friends would become pregnant and be scared to share with me their joy of becoming a mother. I was honestly always so very happy for them but would honestly think to myself "why not me"? "Have I done something wrong"! Well, the answer to both of those was simply "NO"! God just had a different plan for my life. And one that was WAY better than the one I had set out before myself. God knew that in the late month of March in 2001 that a beautiful baby girl would be born to a birth mother who simply could not care for her. She loved her dearly and just wanted the best life for her daughter therefore choosing adoption. God would also know that I was the childless mother and she was the motherless child whose lives would intersect on that precious day providing both needs in both our lives. For her to have a mother and for me to have a child. I know I could never replace her birth mother and never have I tried. God is simply allowing me the privilege of raising her and for that I am so thankful!

So what about the "childless mothers" who still have not had their prayers answered? For them my heart aches and I too wonder for them. But I know our God is sovereign! I often think about the women who have influenced me in my own life who were not actually my birth mother. I think back to my Sunday school teacher, my school counselor, my cheerleading sponsor, my friend's mothers, my mother-in-law, my CBD leader, my youth pastor's wife, . . . the list would honestly go on and on and on! My mother played a HUGE role in my life guiding me and teaching me strength! To this day she would go out of her way to provide for anything I needed. These other women too played a huge role in my life in many different ways even though they were not my mother. I look at a dear friend of our family who attends my church and admire her from a distance not only for what she has meant to my family but what she means to so many women and ladies in our church. She too struggles with not being a mother in the sense of the world but she is far more of a mother than anyone else I know. She has a true desire for the word of God and a true desire that all women know about true salvation through conversion. To me, she is a mother. I look to her and see her "mothering" many many women and wonder where these women would be if she was not ministering to them. God brought her into their lives for a reason and through her obedience to her calling she is called Blessed. I look to her and know that she will receive the crown of motherhood when she is called to glory because she has loved many, ministered to many, and "mothered many". Even to me in ways she probably does not even know. Scripture is very clear, we are to minster to those behind us preparing the next generation. I think back to my list of those who "mothered" me and wonder where I would be without them. They taught me things, directed me, and encouraged me and for them I am so thankful! We are called to be there for those who need us. We are to be there for those who God brings into our life each and every day that we can minister to and love on. God has brought them into your life for a reason and I hope that we do not miss this amazing opportunity to "mother" them.

And I am speaking to myself. I have been convicted about doing my part to minister to those behind me. I have started praying that the Lord would purposely bring people into my life that need encouragement and need someone to minister to them. I have decided to be intentional in this mission. I will first start with my own daughter whom the Lord has blessed me with. I pray daily that I will be a witness to her, an example to her, and inspiration to her to be a "mother" to those who need her throughout her life! I pray that the Lord will continue to give me these opportunities each and every day. So are you willing? Are you willing to purposely seek those in your home, in your workplace, in your neighborhood, in your church? Those that need someone to "mother" them!


I leave you today with a quote out of one of my most favorite books. It's called You Are Captivating:Celebrating A Mother's Heart by Stasi Eldredge.
"All women are called to mother. And all women are called to give birth. Women give birth to all kinds of things: to books, to churches, or to ministries. To ideas, to creative expressions, to movements. We birth life in others by inviting them into deeper realms of healing, to deeper walks with God, to deeper intimacy with Jesus. A woman is not less of a woman because she is not a wife or has not physically borne a child. The heart and life of a woman is much more vast than that. All women are made in the image of God in that we bring forth life. When we offer our tender and strong feminine hearts to the world and to those we love, we cannot help but mother them".

I pray daily for "the childless mother". I honestly do! I pray that the Lord would open their womb or open up an opportunity for adoption to expand their family. Chris and I have experienced both and neither one is more dear to us than the other. I remember holding my daughter for the first time and whispering a simple heart felt prayer: "Oh, dear Lord! Your ways are perfect. Thank you for not allowing me to get pregnant"! Because if so, I would have missed out on one of the greatest blessings of my life. I would have missed out on my daughter. I know that is so hard for many to understand but I knew the minute I held her that the Lord had a plan for both of our lives. He knew far better than I that our lives would intersect on that day!

THE LORD IS SOVEREIGN AND HIS WAYS ARE PERFECT!
Psalm 139